Hardships

Since I wrote last, I have started leaving bags of chips with Bible verses taped to them in the park next door. It made me start to feel differently about the park. There seemed to be a peace there and I thought that perhaps God was moving, speaking to people. But in the last few days it has been hard. The last time I left chips out, I was leaving right as some kind of dangerous looking young men (maybe HS age) showed up. They went to one of the tables I had dropped by and started doing drugs. As I passed them on the way out, I felt afraid.

The next day some people threw a party at the park all day. They had party blowers and were making a ruckus during William's nap, and I was angry. Then they left the park a disaster. I went down and cleaned up what I could. When I came home I didn't lock my car because my gloves had broken and I got frosting on my fingers and didn't want to touch the clicker. Today, our car was found ransacked and all of Kurt's CDs were stolen. And I thought to myself, I am SO done living next to this park!

After the police left this morning, I got to thinking. That officer who took the report puts his life on the line everyday to protect our lives and property. Shouldn't I be willing to lay down my life to offer people eternal life? That's what Jesus did, and I think I am called to no less.

What's your Excuse?

On Monday I got my wisdom teeth removed and it has been a painful week trying to recover. It hurt especially to eat, which had me always torn between dealing with my empty stomach or keeping my mouth from hurting even more. So I have spent a lot of time frustrated and hurting, and it has made me a very unpleasant person to live with.

This morning Kurt left to go hiking, and while I am totally able to care for the kids at this point, I just didn't want to. I wanted to be alone, definitely not be responsible for two lives. I was cranky and I think William was way more naughty than usual...I have the torn book and scribbled-on coffee table as evidence. I was about at my wit's end when God brought a picture to my mind. I saw Christ carrying his cross up to Calvary. He was beaten and bleeding, and along the way, even to his last breath, he was speaking to encourage others or ask for them to be forgiven. He didn't take even excruciating pain to be an excuse to focus on himself, but even at the end his life was in the Father's hands, loving people. He poured out himself.

So what was my excuse?