Whose idea is this anyway?

Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder if I'm making up stuff for me to do or if I'm really doing things God has put on my heart. It's hard to tell when I am so tired and hungry and stressed and whatever-else whether what I "feel" I am supposed to be doing is just coming from me or is really the leading of the Holy Spirit. Like take the park for example. Am I really supposed to be leaving those verses taped to chips down there? Not that I think it is bad to be doing, but is it God's assignment for me, or am I just sowing in a field that isn't where He wanted me to plant? I don't believe in the idea of just dreaming things up to do for God and then expecting Him to bless my efforts cause, hey, its for Him. I want Him guiding me, speaking to those hearts the timely words they need.

I can't see any fruit of the work in the park. I don't need to feel validated by that, but it would help me know that God is there at work at least. Today was particularly tough because of the passages of Scripture I am pretty sure the Spirit was pointing me to. Not the happy stuff. Judgment stuff. And in a time like that, I wonder really whether this is God, cause I would really rather be saying the happy encouraging stuff to people. I guess I just want to be in the center of His plan. I know my plans lead to nothing eternal.

I think in my heart, not that deep, I am assured that this is what I am to be doing. Whether I see the fruit of it or not.

The key to real ministry

But then I am also reminded of Jesus' ministry--he said, "...the Son can do nothing of himself, unless it is something he sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner." Jn 5:19 The Father was guiding Jesus constantly in his earthly ministry, and Jesus acted always in obedience to his Father.

I think we're called to do the same--to always be listening or seeking His guidance in our hearts, and acting in obedience, as opposed to going off on our own and dreaming up ideas for God. I think we are called to listen to Him and seek to know what work He is doing on earth, and then offer ourselves as vessels for that work. And so, when it comes to sowing seed, I want to let the Master Farmer be guiding me to fields He wants to see sown. I think he just wants us willing and walking with Him to whatever end...