Unfaithfulness

This is another word I read in Scripture that confused me, but I didn't realize it until recently. I thought it meant "unbelievingness" and had to do with having doubts. But while doubting is sin in God's eyes, it recently occurred to me that the word means the same thing as the way we use it today--its talking about a spouse being unfaithful. I guess maybe that's obvious to other people but it was a big moment for me. God wants His people to love Him with their whole heart, just like Kurt wants my whole affection and would be jealous if I gave my love in any degree to another man.

So then it makes a lot more sense to me when God says that He is a jealous God. Off yesterday's post, to love the world in any degree is to be unfaithful to God. There are lots of references in the Bible to God's relationship to the Jews and/or the Church being one like marriage. So that creates a very pressing issue...am I unfaithful to God? Do I make Him jealous? I can't take that any less seriously than I would in my earthly marriage.

So what do I love in the world? Where are my affections, really? Often a clue comes in the form of what I tend to get riled up about.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. ." James 4:1

I get that way about sleep a lot these days, since I've got two little ones.

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?But he gives us more grace." James 4:4-6

Sounds kind of funny to think about love of sleep being adultery toward God, but I can't deny the fruit of it. I get quick tempered when I expect to have a nap and can't have one, or when I am made to stay up past my bedtime. Its a vicious drive in me, and bears all the fruit of unrighteousness. Fortunately the Lord wants us to be faithful and bear the fruit of righteousness, so I find Him working to rid me of this idol, and teaching me how to yield to His peaceful, gentle, generous Spirit working in me to care for my family. (and it is His Spirit, incidentally, that revealed my lust for sleep to me. Our places of unfaithfulness tend to be very cleverly hidden from our eyes. But God sees them.)

Love

It has always seemed weird to me that Paul tells us in his letters that love should be "sincere" and "from the heart". I don't know if I ever asked anyone about it, but it seemed to me that there were very few if any people that I really loved in this way. How could I? Who could? No one loves everyone like that except God. So I figured maybe the verse didn't mean what it seemed to mean. Maybe I was loving people from the heart since Jesus is in my heart and its some kind of theological idea...this "loving from the heart."

But my discomfort has caught up with me again lately. I do not love people sincerely. Some days, even for no explicable reason, a good friend will call and I will feel annoyed that they are calling me even before I pick up the phone. I just don't want to be bothered with other human beings some days, even the ones who have always been good to me. Let alone those who are more difficult to love. I may force myself to pick up the phone and put a smile on my face, but that just doesn't seem like "sincere" love "from the heart." Is choosing to act loving the same as what Paul is talking about? Because that is the most I can muster in myself.

I think God is asking for something supernatural from us. He wants to see His love in us, all the time. For awhile I could believe when people said that God does not do miracles anymore. But now I am thinking that we are called to live a miracle every day of our lives. Only God can put that kind of love in us and share it through us. And when I went back and reread the verse above, I saw the clue to how:

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." I Peter 1:22

We can choose to act loving, but God just loves. And His love can shine through us as our hearts are purified, rid of love for self and the world.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." I Jn 2:15