Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Just leave it to Me
I'm always having a hard time with the idea of miraculous healing...maybe of anything miraculous happening. I know it does but I can never pray for miracles. God and I both know I don't really think He'll do it. Recently both of my kids have been sick, the sickest I've ever seen, and I thought I should pray for them. I did pray for William when he was at his worst, telling God I knew He was merciful and begging Him for mercy on William. That was the middle of the night. The next day William slept until 2 in the afternoon and was clearly much better when he woke up. Not miraculously without a trace of illness, but much much better. I knew God had answered. Now I'm at the same point with Ellie, but still just don't know how to pray. Knowing nothing about healing, I had this vague idea that there is some combination of words or something I am supposed to feel that will make it happen. But as I was trying (in vain) to pray for her, I felt like God was a little amused at me--like I was doing some silly "rain dance" to get what I wanted. I stopped and admitted defeat. What now Lord? But then I looked at her and even though there were no obvious signs of a recovery, I knew she was OK. Something inside said that there was no longer a cause for concern. Still, what about those prayers that yield immediate obvious miraculous healing? Am I still supposed to seek that? But then He spoke to me again through Elizabeth Elliot, as He so often does. "Just leave him to me" was the title of the devotional. And through it, He told me to pray and then rest and trust Him. Not trust Him to do what I had asked, but to trust Him that He heard and was holding both me and Ellie in His hands. Look to Him in quiet trust and know He will do what is good.