Closer than the air

Up until just now I used to believe that I was surrounded by a crowd of the enemy, spiritually speaking. And in the midst of all the pain and fear and confusion, I would reach out for God and hope that I could reach Him, or that He would take my hand. I knew He was good and was nearby somehow, but maybe I had to say the right words to get Him to intervene.

But tonight as I was sitting on the couch unable to sleep, I waited on Him to say something to me about the frustration and anger I've been feeling today, and how it has brought me down. And that image came to me, of the crowd of demons or whatever around me and me reaching out to God, and He said to me, "I am closer to you than the enemy, closer than the air you breathe." All the suffering of my life has been allowed, maybe mostly because I am a free being and have invited a lot of it on myself. But He has used it to purify me and bring me to Himself, to get rid of the faulty ideas and cleanse me of them, to bring me to a place of wholeness in Him.

I am His child. He guards me as a hen keeps her chicks under her wing. Even what the enemy is allowed to do to me is allowed for good, the good of conforming me to Christ, wherein lies my greatest happiness and perfect peace.