Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder if I'm making up stuff for me to do or if I'm really doing things God has put on my heart. It's hard to tell when I am so tired and hungry and stressed and whatever-else whether what I "feel" I am supposed to be doing is just coming from me or is really the leading of the Holy Spirit. Like take the park for example. Am I really supposed to be leaving those verses taped to chips down there? Not that I think it is bad to be doing, but is it God's assignment for me, or am I just sowing in a field that isn't where He wanted me to plant? I don't believe in the idea of just dreaming things up to do for God and then expecting Him to bless my efforts cause, hey, its for Him. I want Him guiding me, speaking to those hearts the timely words they need.
I can't see any fruit of the work in the park. I don't need to feel validated by that, but it would help me know that God is there at work at least. Today was particularly tough because of the passages of Scripture I am pretty sure the Spirit was pointing me to. Not the happy stuff. Judgment stuff. And in a time like that, I wonder really whether this is God, cause I would really rather be saying the happy encouraging stuff to people. I guess I just want to be in the center of His plan. I know my plans lead to nothing eternal.
I think in my heart, not that deep, I am assured that this is what I am to be doing. Whether I see the fruit of it or not.
Pimple Stars/Bird Sounds/AI Art
1 year ago
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I am sorry you are feeling so discouraged... I will pray for you that you feel an assurance one way or the other.
I have to imagine that sowing a seed is always good, right? I get that you don't want to know just to make you feel good, but rather you want to know so that you are in His will...
But the fact that you are checking yourself about it, seems that you are doing the right thing... Maybe the whole thing is not necessarily to yield anything from others but to test your faithfulness and willingness to just get out there and sow that seed no matter what ground it falls on... which you are! So maybe all your seeds are falling on the "path" but you are sowing right?
I also found this scripture which seemed encouraging:
"May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. Those who go out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, carrying their sheaves."
I am not exactly sure if this reference applies because you are not exactly sowing in tears... but regardless you are "bearing the seed for sowing" and you "SHALL come home with shouts of joy!" That is a promise!
I am loving the Blue Letter Bible (like I was telling you about) and it had this hymn listed with this verse:
He that goeth forth with weeping,
Bearing precious seed in love,
Never tiring, never sleeping,
Findeth mercy from above.
Soft descend the dews of heaven,
Bright the rays celestial shine;
Precious fruits will thus be given
Through an influence all divine.
Sow thy seed; be never weary;
Let no fears thy soul annoy;
Be the prospect ne'er so dreary,
Thou shalt reap the fruits of joy.
Lo! the scene of verdure brightening,
See the rising grain appear:
Look again; the fields are whitening,
For the harvest time is near.
Along with this one called Bringing in the Sheaves which I also thought was cool:
Sowing in the morning, sowing seeds of kindness,
Sowing in the noontide and the dewy eve;
Waiting for the harvest, and the time of reaping,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.
Refrain
Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves,
Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves,
Sowing in the sunshine, sowing in the shadows,
Fearing neither clouds nor winter's chilling breeze;
By and by the harvest, and the labor ended,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.
Refrain
Going forth with weeping, sowing for the Master,
Though the loss sustained our spirit often grieves;
When our weeping's over, He will bid us welcome,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.
Anyway... I'm no expert... I just want for you to feel encouraged about what you are doing!
Big Hugs - XOXO
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